Project SMILE

Lately, I have been trying this out:

Make eye-contact with fellow exercise-goers and smile at them.

Why?

It seems that we are always trying to avoid acknowledging other people's presence, even though they can be right in front of us or so near us.

Why?

Are we afraid? 

Do we want to protect our personal space (much needed especially in an over-crowded city?).

I was trying to challenge my comfort zone through everyday small acts, when I decided this could be a project or habit that could potentially help me with expanding my comfort zone. I am in nature, not sociable person. While I do enjoy warm human interactions, I rarely do so comfortably with people I do not know well or not sure of, let alone strangers... 

But I do feel a surge of warmth (with my face quietly beaming up) whenever a fellow stranger park-goer or exerciser initiates a "Good morning!" cheerfully or simply greets me with a smile. It is not so scary after all. In fact, it lights up our lives as beings living together in this fragile world.

So I decided to try this Project Smile - to initiate eye contact, smiles and greetings, when I meet fellow runners, hikers, exercise-goers or photographers when I am out running or hiking.

These are the results in general, after the project has been ongoing for a few months:

1. It is easier for me to initiate the smiles when the incoming fellow being is friendly in nature, ready to offer a smile in return, or an initiator him or herself. I may even reply with or initiate verbal greetings.
2. It took me some effort to overcome fear to start smiling, when I already see that the oncoming being wears an expressionless face, trying to shun eye contact, or when we both are struggling with our workouts, or when it is more than one pax, fully engaged in their interactions 
3. I realised that I don't even want to, or remember to do this initiation when I am struggling, panting in my workout myself, or feeling too tired or weary.
4. I effortlessly continue a succession of verbal greetings when I already garnered a wave of positivity from others in the earlier experiences of my workout.
5. There are people who are reserved and shy, but when greeted by me, they will break out in smiles as well, or return with a verbal exchange.
6. There are people who remain aloof, however some would nod back without expression.
7. There are some who would totally shun eye contact with me.
8. When I myself do not wish to greet anyone, but don't wish to appear aloof and rude, I will just wear a light smile on my face to indicate that I am harmless and friendly. I may or may not look them in the eye as I pass them by... I do understand that feeling when I want to be undisturbed, and wished to be left alone during those "emo" days.

As I initiate more of the above, I feel better at doing it. I feel less uncomfortable making eye contact with people I do not know. 

Also, I do find myself getting more comfortable striking up conversations with people. This little project actually led me to expand skills beyond just smiling at strangers in the park.

Just this day, an article from Runners's World caught my attention:

Why smiling can make you a faster running AND have a happier life

And indeed when we smile, it's all positive effects enriching our personal, and spilling over to our interpersonal and social lives.

I guess stepping over that threshold from our comfortable space requires practice.

And with practice, effort becomes lighter, till it turns natural. 

And I shall continue to practice.

Mindful Sounds

After my long run today, as usual my routine would be to end with a quiet-sit-down-mindful meditative session. It doesn't matter how long it lasts - as long as I feel calmed down and peacefully satisfied to continue my day.

The chosen pavillion at the park was empty when I settled in to cool down. However, a mother with two young children entered the space and settled down opposite me, as I was getting ready to have my mindful moment.

The pretty preschool girl went to scale on the nearby slide, while the toddler brother was in his pram, and his mommy calling out periodically to his sister in a loving voice, to make sure she was ok. At the same time she was talking to the toddler, and snapping pictures with her phone.

My immediate reactive emotion was of a tensed one. "There goes my quiet moment, with the intention of listening to the calming sounds of nature."

However, the interaction of the family was such a loving one, I couldn't help but feel joy listening to them as I was trying to ease my emotions.

If practising quiet moments to calm down the self is to better face the reality of everyday life with ease, surely the actual practice of this in real life situations would be so much valid. Why would I need to be irritated and tensed when here I am doing this practice in reality!

And so, with my eyes closed and through calming breaths, I absorbed the activity of the little family. In the background the chirping of birds continued.

It was only for a brief moment. For not long after, the little girl was called back and they proceeded to leave. 

I opened my eyes and exchanged looks with the mommy, both of us smiling. I waved bye-bye to the toddler who was too shy to return my goodbye - only to fix his gaze at me. The active little girl spontaneously said bye bye to me cheerfully with fully-lit eyes.

It was a good moment, and a good practice day for me.